Some more...

You know its sad when you are having thoughts in class concerning what you are going to update your blog with. It is very sad.

Things are winding down, people are beginning to pack, and I (more so than anyone else I speak to) don't want to leave. I don't want to go home. Everyone, including self, needs a break from school, so the notion of a vacation is fine by me. But the fact that is a little over a month in the winter is just too much to comprehend. It is strange when you know for a fact that you are going to become depressed. This just works for me, not being home, and the thought of going back to that special kind of Long Island cold to wake up, go to work, come back home, sleep or possibly go out to a friend's house, just seems so hopeless. I don't want to do it, I don't want to go home. I had my time on that island, it is time for me to move on.

On a happier note, something within the last week makes me feel as though I am a step closer to finally being... complete. There is still that underlying worry I will always feel as long as I know and care about the people I know. However, this time I can just sit back. It is at a point where... how can I word this. If any aspect of my life were to suddenly become an overwhelmingly dramatic, I think I could manage it. I don't think my past will be an issue anymore, and that the future (with the exception of winter break) is going to look bright. People in this city aren't as stand-offish as everyone would like to make it seem. You don't completely change when you leave for college in most cases. You just become a better/worse version of yourself. I can safely say that I becoming a better version.

The thing is, I have no clue what being me is, so I guess you can say I am becoming better.

 

OH! Because the month of November was such a bust in terms of going out, I've got this urge to just go out all the time now. I know it is finals, and for the most part I am on top of everything. My work will get done, it will be done in advance, and it will be done well. I've just got to start exploring more, I've just got to meet more people, I just have to...dance

If you want more photos from the Japanther show (Dec 1, 2007), go to my flickr!