Elaan Vital: I'm in a really good mood

I am clearly the white male on the left hand side of that picture.

I think... actually, let me change that. I know that I am missing that part of my brain that allows me to be really upset over a guy. Especially when it involves other girls. And I wish, I wish I could. I've been upset over the things numerous things that guys have said directly to me, but when some male were to choose another girl over me... I don't feel a sense of loss. Instead I feel absolutely nothing. You may be thinking “you are so lucky” and it isn't as though I've got a thing for pain. I just wish my emotions weren't so limited. I just wish the only two negative emotions I feel weren't confined to “sad/depressed” and a little “mad/angry”. I hope you understand what I mean...

That being said, I cannot do this constantly going out thing, I need to learn how to just sit on the side. I feel like I am abnormally behind in my work (which really isn't the case) and i'm not treating myself right (which is the case). I've actually considered missing class (which isn't going to happen, its not that I love my classes that much or that I am huge nerd. Its just that I have this overwhelming sense that I will miss something important if I do). I know this is college, and I know I am in the city, but getting trashed in dorm rooms for just the sake of it just sometimes doesn't seem worth it. I'd much rather be dancing the hours away.

Sometimes yahoo news has the stupidest coverage stories, I can't handle it.

Well, I've been writing this entry for a while, I haven't had the full blown urge to write one whole entry and post it. So this is going to seem a little off:
It is so funny how a voicemail can completely throw you off. I normally don't check that stuff for weeks, it is a bad habit i know (its normally my mother, and I'll call her back). I wake up after a coma like slumber, and check it, and I've been out of it. Thankfully I couldn't understand most of what was said, (this is a good thing). It is the fact that he left it that has thrown me for a loop
You know how you have people in your life you rather forget for one reason or another? It wasn't the time, it was everything that happened after. I hate it when he is brought up, and every time I come close to... letting go of “all the hurt”, I'm put back in August. I'm put back in that spot when someone actually made me depressed, instead of me being the cause of my own unhappiness... I hate the fact that someone has that power over me. I think the secret reason why I'm allowing myself go back into the romantic scene is because I want someone else to push out the remainders of a... bad ending. I loved what we had, but I am happy its over. Its to the point where any contact isn't good for me.

I'm in a really good mood, here are pictures: